Change

This blog's sole purpose is to remind myself of my own most powerful tool: Change.
I know that it's the most logical concept there is, but for some reason it's also one of the hardest to put into action. So often I say: "If you don't like it, change it. Easy" Maybe it's time to practise what I preach (actually, let's scrap the 'maybe').

The one thought I had before was this: The only place change can happen is within myself. It's as simple and obvious as that. If I want my body, my life, my thoughts or my behaviour to change, I have to start at the root of it all, which is within.
It's so obvious I wonder why I'm even writing it down, but I am writing it down because although I know it, I don't live by it.

I want to start making small changes that will hopefully turn into big changes and eventually into permanent change.
I'm currently trying to decide wether to ditch the scales and/or the calorie counting. I'm not sure if either would be beneficial. In the past, whenever I have ditched one or the other, I seem to have given myself an awful lot of freedom, which I would then abuse by bingeing, because I can't see the damage in numbers (cal or kgs...)
On the other hand, looking at a low daily calorie total and a low weight on the scales has led to many many binges, so obviously that isn't the ideal solution either.
I'm thinking I might, maybe for a week, just try and plan my food one day in advance, and then stick to that. So I will still have it written down, but without numbers. And I was also thinking to weigh at night. I weigh anything from 2-4kgs more at night (ridiculous, but I do drink a lot of water as well) as opposed to in the morning. So I think seeing a higher weight might be better motivation.. Plus, I weigh at night anwyway, so it would basically just mean avoiding the morning weigh in, which I dread anyway.
Should those be my first two small changes then? I think so.

1) Plan food one day in advance.
2) Only weigh at night.

I will do this just for a week, until next Monday, and see how I go.

Today and yesterday I sort of binged by the way. Yesterday was more mindless eating of leftovers, though, and today was within a social setting, so more overeating then bingeing, and I even resisted the urge to stop and buy chocolate on the way home. I had vegies instead :)
Still, I feel pretty disgusting. I feel lethargic, frustrated, bloated. I know most of it is because I am sick, which also means I can't exercise (exercise being my one body confidence booster). But it will pass. Catch you guys tomorrow!!

Love,
M.