So it's day 4 without binging today. Wohoo! I think it really does take a few days to clear your system after a big binge (or two, or three...) I just have to be careful now that I don't get too comfortable, because that's when I start losing control again.
I am trying, though, to listen to my body and to not deprive myself of foods I want. I figure whenever I do, I end up buying lots of said foods, whereas if I'd let myself have a small amount in the first place, it mightn't have happened. I just keep reminding myself how much better it is to go over calories by a little than by a lot, especially if it's weight loss calories I'm talking about.
So I woke up with a craving for banana bread, and after the gym I went and bought a slice and it was divine, and so worth it. I CAN treat myself without it ruining my day food wise.
I'm quite excited for going to Melbourne tomorrow. I'm having a DEXA scan that will accurately measure my body fat, and tell me exactly how many calories I should be eating for maintenance and weight loss. I think my body fat will be fairly low, as I've been doing strength training consistently for a long time (2 years?) now. And I can see that I have pretty decent muscle definition, which is great.
Hopefully the doctor will be able to give me some advice as to what weight I should aim for, or how I should go about it. I think if my body fat comes up as fairly low, I am much more inclined to accept myself the way I look now. I just hate how the BMI can be so goddamn misleading in determining whether a fit person is overweight or not. So I am keeping my fingers crossed for the results to be something close to what I hope / expect.