Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Things are looking... ahead!

Hello fellow bloggers!

Sorry for the few days of absence; luckily I can say that I've not been hiding because I've been bad. Huge sigh of relief.

It just seems that from Tuesday through until Thursday mid-morning, I am really really busy. Or at least, I don't get much of my usual internet time, because that generally happens at night before and after dinner. But on Tuesday and Wednesday night I am at the gym til late (Tuesday because I talk to my friend at reception for 2 hours until the gym closes, and Wednesday cause my class is on late and I have early nights due to the 6am Thursday class). So yeah, that's why I haven't been blogging.

Firstly I just need to say how goooood it feels to be back at the gym. I'm still careful, only doing what I *have* to, and not doing cardio, so I don't run myself down straight back into how I felt last weekend. It's working.

In terms of binging I have been doing ok. I can't say I have binged, which is great. What I have done is eat without the need to eat... Every night. I just had to reach for something sweet. But it was never a binge. So that's a plus. I bought myself some rice puddings now, because at 160 calories, that is a fairly nice amount for a prebed snack.
Initially when I picked up the packets (I bought 4 rice puddings in total), I thought "uhh, I better not eat these all at once. That's gonna be hard." Then I thought "Hang on, what are you thinking, you're setting yourself up for it already." So what I must keep in mind is that one very valuable thing I took away from monday's counselling session, which was this:

The thought does not have to equal the behaviour.

I love this. I tell myself all the time. It's so true. Just thinking about binging does not mean it has to happen. There is still a period of time between the thought and the act in which I have a chance to stop. The same goes for feelings. Just because I feel lonely or bored, does not mean I have to binge. I can do other things instead. It's okay to be lonely or bored every now and then. I thing I am starting to get my head around that.

I don't know where my weight is at at the mo' but from nightly weigh ins I am guesing it's a lot higher than I would like it to be. Have been weighing 70-71 at night, which means I probably actually weigh something around 68. Ugh. So I have promised myself not to weigh in the morning until one night I see the 68.something on the scales, so that I won't be completely shocked by the morning weigh in. I think weighing at night is working well for me! As is not recording, at least in terms of avoiding binges. I guess I am probably eating maintenance cals, but I can live with that for the time being. It's better than sticking to diet cals and binging because the number Ck shows me looks nice and low.

So overall things are looking up, but I know I have to be careful whenever I say that. So I guess I can at least say things are looking ahead as opposed to down or backwards ;) that works, right?

That's all for now, but I will probably be back for another (more theoretical) post later! At least you know what's going on in my world now, if that's what you were after!



  1. Glad to hear things are going OK M, was getting worried when you went quiet the last few days! I love that quote though, it's so true, the thought does not have to equal the behaviour, sometimes I think coz I've already thought oh hell I'll probably eat the whole tub of icecream that the thought in itself is reason enough to go ahead and do it, even if I get full after half the tub or I feel sick, I have already reasoned it out in my head so why not just finish it anyway. I am going to remember that one and write it on a sticky note to put on my computer at work!

    Em x