Sunday, 4 July 2010

New week, new motivation

So it's monday again. I'm so happy to report that I didn't binge yesterday. As a matter of fact, I left my savings card at home. I did take 10$ though. And I was a bit on edge, when I found out that we were having dinner, bread AND dessert. While all that only put me at 1500calories for the day, my first thought was "damn, I've screwed up". As soon as I recognised that thought, I tried to think rationally: If this is stuffing up, a binge will make it worse... It's better to be over by 100calories than by 1500, isn't it? Now binge self couldn't really argue with rational self there, hey?
So I just drove straight home. No stopping at a drive-through or servo, just straight home. I then had a low fat hot chocolate and watched DVDs all night. And I felt GREAT.
And as if the scales knew of that little success, they showed me a lovely (given the circumstances) 66.9kgs today. Phew.

I have my food mostly planned and am feeling strong, so that's good. The only danger about today is that I'm teaching 3 classes. Sometimes that gives me an incentive to binge because 'I deserve it'... I'm just going to focus on the fact that if I nurish my body properly today, I will be rewarded by feeling wonderful tomorrow, cause my muscles will have worked and recovered. So if I make it through today, that's 3 binge free days under my belt. I'm feeling confident.

I have been doing lots of thinking about reasons for why I binge, and I think one of my biggest triggers is feeling lonely. I'll come back later though and share my thouhghts on that one, gotta rush off to the gym now!

love, M.

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